By Tim Hurd

th1481@hotmail

June 29th, 2005

Mocking the Draft: A Fun Look at NBA Draft Night

There is nothing like NBA Draft night, and there was no better place to watch the 2005 draft then at my good friend Shawn Siegel’s house [Siegel is head editor of CHN]. I can’t say the night started too promising, a 10-minute drive from my house concluded as I pounded my steering wheel after sitting in the car for 30 minutes. But nonetheless, there were hot dogs, corn, steak, and salad waiting on the grill when I arrived. Problem being, as I pull in at 7:25pm, there was no time to waste, which in turn, led to the grill staying on for an extra hour after its use. No harm, no foul, though, we were ready to watch the draft.

Was Bogut really this excited to be selected number one? You have to like the fist pump, though. I’ll be brutally honest here, I was concentrating on my hot dogs at this point and wasn’t really paying attention all that closely. Anyways, Bogut seems like the right choice here. A 7-footer with great skills is hard to pass on when there is no clear dominating presence in the draft.

Let’s be honest, he was the best talent in the draft, and a team can’t pass on this guy, but adding another small forward to the Hawks just doesn’t make much sense. The Hawks had already drafted Josh Childress, as well as Josh Smith, and have Al Harrington on their roster…hmmm…that’s four small forwards last I checked.

Note, Roy Williams still has his happy face on.

I think this pick is great, if not just for the fact that Williams wife is smoking. Not to mention that he is going to Utah, no problems marrying her now, just go and marry a couple others, too, Deron. Great stuff, can’t beat it. By on a more serious note, no forget it, his girlfriend was just great.

On another note, I would bet my pay check for the next two weeks, that ESPN had a little sit down with Stu Scott before the draft. I haven’t heard, “Yo, Dawg” from his mouth yet.

I think this worked out best for both Williams and Paul. Williams will do an excellent job running a team with established players in the Utah system and Paul will be able to create and run the way New Orleans needs him too. Now a couple of problems here, Paul expressed that there was no way he could live in New York City, hey, Chris, how about Bourbon Street? Chris’s brother, CJ Paul, is going to be calling Chris at 7:30am game day asking for a ride home from the French Quarter.

After that knife comment, concerning fighting with this brother, I can tell you that Julius Hodge is mighty happy that he was on a basketball court and not on the street. Ouch, it hurts just picturing that one.

You can’t beat Steven A. throwing Winnie the Pooh into the mix. But don’t worry, no Winnie the Pooh comment can stop a Jay Bilas scouting report.

Three point guards in the first five picks, when is the last time that has happened? I guess this brings fans to the seats. What is Brevin Knight thinking here, the guy averaged 8 assists a game last year – with nobody on his team that could score!

Reality is starting to hit Roy Williams.

How about Grandma’s hat!

Interesting, another high school player for the Trailblazers. You have to question this one, Portland is a bad place for any rookie to go, and a high school kid, probably not the best idea. Martell thinks that he can get guidance from the veterans. VETERENS? Zach Randolph, Damon Stoudamire, Ruben Patterson. Both you and I know what he is getting guidance in, and your not picking these out of your garden.

I am not wasting my time here. Even Shawn didn’t know what to say here.

David Stern is officially a happy man! A four-year college player! Has a Knick pick ever avoided the boo-birds on draft night? This was the best player fight for the Knicks at this point. They needed size, and I don’t think they wanted to add to the currently employed undersized power forwards.

Does Jay Bilas ever really scout these players? So far, through eight picks, everyone is versatile and long. Thanks, Jay, I thought basketball players were stubby and slow.

I know I was watching the NBA draft, but what’s up with Wimbledon?

If there were a team that I would root for if I weren’t a Nets fan, it would be the Warriors. With the addition of Baron Davis, this is a fun team, with some pretty decent talent. I think Diogu is great, and I thought he was under appreciated going into the draft…I was wrong. This seems a little high, but, still a very good player.

This is no doubt the player that Phil Jackson wanted. He’ll fit right in that triangle offense.. Bynum will never be better then Brendan Haywood, guaranteed. I think its great that he had a good game in the Jordan All Star Classic, but that doesn’t mean you get taken with the 10th selection! He’s not 18 and he already weighs 300 pounds!

All right, this got the boys fired up. I’d pay to watch Steven A. Smith and Dick Vitale sit in a room and try to talk over each other about these two picks.

Here is my problem with picking foreign players. Concerning Korolev, the point was brought about that the Clips would send him to another European league to work on his skills…I don’t understand. A college player can’t get drafted and sent back to college to work on their skills. So we are rewarding a European player for entering the draft at 18, but these college kids are getting a raw deal. I say, if your drafted, you have to come over here, hey, if Korolev fails, it was his own fault for declaring for the draft at 18. Let’s make this an even playing field.

Can we stop with the John Basedow commercials? Who buys this crap? And this time they tried adding some elevator techno music. Let me tell you, commercials don’t get much better. Terrible.

Roy Williams is nowhere to be found at this point. Dunzo. Also, Mr. Shawn Siegel and myself were mighty worried about the Nets draft situation here. The doomed Hakim Warrick was still on the board. There were no big guys left to take at fifteen, I would even live with Rashad McCants for the Nets. Please let the next pick be Hakim Warrick. Please.

NO!! This is terrible. Why didn’t you take Warrick? Anyway, Stern forgot that McCants would want to shake hands when he got the stage, mildly amusing. I’m stuck on the Nets, sorry.

Is ESPN kidding going to a commercial break; worst commercial break ever. This did give Shawn and I a little time to think about this pick. There were some really good players on the board: Danny Granger and Gerald Green, specifically. The Nets come away with Antoine Wright. Right away I was relieved and pissed (for about 13 seconds). Looking at this one, Wright can play both the two and the three; Granger can only play the three. Gerald Green wouldn’t have ever developed with Jefferson and Carter playing a majority of the minutes (think Jonathan Bender). There were no big guys left that were worthy of the 15th pick, and we didn’t take Warrick. I’ll take it!

I stopped believing the Toronto Raptors were a real organization eight picks ago.

This is a steal; I thought this guy was a lottery pick. My real focus at this point was who was going to be left in the green room. Always a good time. For no particular reason I am pulling for Hakim Warrick.

And the winner of the green room battle is…Hakim Warrick! I know that the Celtics took a high school player last year, and as a team they are extremely young, but I really like this pick. I think that they really lucked out in having Green fall this far. I guess you could say that Paul Pierce and Antoine Walker aren’t in Danny Ainge’s future plans.

You wonder why Warrick slipped so much, but what position will he play in the NBA. I don’t want to here that it won’t matter for him because of athletic ability, because the bottom line is, Warrick has subpar offensive skills, and he weighs 215 pounds. Tell me the team that wants a small forward that can’t handle the ball or shoot, or a power forward who you can’t see when he turns sideways.

We had our best commercial break of the evening here. You cannot beat “the Rick” talking about Mika Koivuniemi. For all of those who don’t know Mika, he is a native of Finland, dominating the PBA tour. Great television, 1pm on Sundays coming this fall.

Picks 20 through 30 were interesting to say the least. Julius Hodge, 20? Nate Robinson, 21? Jason Maxiell got drafted? In the first round? I thought the Jarrett Jack pick was great, and after the trade with Portland, I guarantee next year Jack will be the starting point guard for the Trail Blazers, while Sebastion Telfair and Martell Webster will be listening to Cypress Hill’s, “Hits from the Bong,” on their sweet new iPods.

All in all, the NBA draft just can’t be beat. For instance, it doesn’t get better then calling my diehard-Net-fan-parents, only to hear, while speaking to my father, my mother screaming in the background, “WHO IS THIS GUY? WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY DOING?” The draft brings out the best in everyone.