shawn@collegehoops.net
December 29th
NEW 2/3/06: Check out our
Official Top 40 Best Names in college basketball list for 2006, with
some changes, corrections, and new funny names!
College
Basketball: Best Names
Some names sound funny, others just are
funny. Some names are memorable and some you wish you'd just never
hear again. Year after year, names like God Shammgod, World B. Free,
and Tommy Gunn provide conversation fodder for basketball fans. Who
are this year's God's, World's and Gunn's? Here are the Top 30 names
in college basketball:
30) Brad Nuckles - ETSU
Why? "Bloody" nickname makes for good headlines.
29) Akin Akingbala - Clemson
Why? Parents took easy way out and just
copied Akin from last name.
28) QuoVadis Harper - Chicago State
Why? First name gets huge points in Scrabble.
27) Can Civi - Davidson
Why? Apparently pronounced "John Chee-vee."
If you say so.
26) Bubba Long - Eastern Kentucky
Why? Nothing says Eastern Kentucky like the name Bubba.
25) Supo Jegede - New Mexico State
Why? No Supo for you!
24) Jazz Henderson - Long Beach State
Why? I wish my first name was Jazz.
23) Luc Richard Mbah a Moute - UCLA
Why? My Mbah is better than your a Moute.
22) Leemire Goldwire - Charlotte
Why? It rhymes! Weeeee!
21) Arizona AZ Reid - High Point
Why? Best of the geographic names.
20) Stanley
Asumnu - Tennessee
Why? If you assume, you make an as out of u
and mnu.
19) Uwemedimo Eshietedoho - UMBC
Why? By my count, that's 11 syllables.
18) Paulius Packevicius - Rice
Why? Try Saying that name three times fast.
17) B-Jay
Walker - Oakland
Why? I'd be twice as cool with a dash in my
first name.
16) Kibwe Trim - Sacred Heart
Why? Could be America's next hot diet.
15) VJ Fails - Charleston Southern
Why? Unfortunately VJ Fails often from the FT line (3-16
for career!)
14) Teaco Mickles - Alabama A&M
Why? If I wonder if Teaco laughs when you mickle him.
13) Pops Mensah-Bonsu - GW
Why? Because his name is Pops Mensah-Bonsu.
12) Parfait Bitee - Rhode Island
Why? I know a great recipe for Parfait
Bitee.
11) Pooh Jeter - Portland
Why? Do you have to ask?
10) Preston LeMaster - Kentucky
Why? I am the LeMaster of my own domain!
9) Dipo Popoola - Northeastern
Why? Would be twice as funny if his name was Poopola.
8) Fats Cuyler
- MSTU
Why? I used to bowl with a guy named
Fats. He was fat.
7) Austin Swig - Montana
Why? It would be cool if college kids yelled "Swig! Swig!
Swig! Swig!" at parties.
6) Cleve Woodfork - Tenn-Martin
Why? It takes more than a wood fork to
cleave meat.
5) Dexter Shankle - UTPA
Why? This name just makes me giggle for some reason.
4) Austen Powers - CS Northridge
Why? If you don't know, I guess you don't like movies.
3) Willie
Dingle - Rider
Why? It's not proper to show your Willie
Dingle in public.
2) Chris Porn - Elon
Why? Because this guy knows how to use his Willie Dingle.
1) Chief Kickingstallionsims - Stetson
Why? I figured it would mean "Likes to Kick
Stallions." But apparently it means "Strength of Fallen Rocks."
Thanks to your suggestions, I've put together
Best Names: Part Two which includes 30 more great
names not included on my list, including Idong Ibok, Chudi Chinweze, and
Gyno Pomare. Also, you can learn Chief Kickingstallionsims real first
name, which is no less interesting.
