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BEST NAMES IN COLLEGE BASKETBALL

Columnists | Message Board  | Daily Dribble

By Shawn Siegel

shawn@collegehoops.net

December 29th

 

 

NEW 2/3/06: Check out our Official Top 40 Best Names in college basketball list for 2006, with some changes, corrections, and new funny names!

 

College Basketball: Best Names

 

Some names sound funny, others just are funny.  Some names are memorable and some you wish you'd just never hear again.  Year after year, names like God Shammgod, World B. Free, and Tommy Gunn provide conversation fodder for basketball fans.  Who are this year's God's, World's and Gunn's?  Here are the Top 30 names in college basketball:

 

30) Brad Nuckles - ETSU

Why? "Bloody" nickname makes for good headlines.

 

29) Akin Akingbala - Clemson

Why? Parents took easy way out and just copied Akin from last name.

 

28) QuoVadis Harper - Chicago State

Why? First name gets huge points in Scrabble.

 

27) Can Civi - Davidson

Why? Apparently pronounced "John Chee-vee."  If you say so.

 

26) Bubba Long - Eastern Kentucky

Why? Nothing says Eastern Kentucky like the name Bubba.

 

25) Supo Jegede - New Mexico State

Why? No Supo for you!

 

24) Jazz Henderson - Long Beach State

Why?  I wish my first name was Jazz.

 

23) Luc Richard Mbah a Moute - UCLA

Why? My Mbah is better than your a Moute.

 

22) Leemire Goldwire - Charlotte

Why? It rhymes! Weeeee!

 

21) Arizona AZ Reid - High Point

Why? Best of the geographic names.

 

20) Stanley Asumnu - Tennessee

Why? If you assume, you make an as out of u and mnu.

 

19) Uwemedimo Eshietedoho - UMBC

Why? By my count, that's 11 syllables.

 

18) Paulius Packevicius - Rice

Why? Try Saying that name three times fast.

 

17) B-Jay Walker - Oakland

Why? I'd be twice as cool with a dash in my first name.

 

16) Kibwe Trim - Sacred Heart

Why? Could be America's next hot diet.

 

15) VJ Fails - Charleston Southern

Why? Unfortunately VJ Fails often from the FT line (3-16 for career!)

 

14) Teaco Mickles - Alabama A&M

Why? If I wonder if Teaco laughs when you mickle him.

 

13) Pops Mensah-Bonsu - GW

Why? Because his name is Pops Mensah-Bonsu.

 

12) Parfait Bitee - Rhode Island

Why? I know a great recipe for Parfait Bitee.

 

11) Pooh Jeter - Portland

Why?  Do you have to ask?

 

10) Preston LeMaster - Kentucky

Why? I am the LeMaster of my own domain!

 

9) Dipo Popoola - Northeastern

Why? Would be twice as funny if his name was Poopola.

 

8) Fats Cuyler - MSTU

Why?  I used to bowl with a guy named Fats. He was fat.

 

7) Austin Swig - Montana

Why? It would be cool if college kids yelled "Swig! Swig! Swig! Swig!" at parties.

 

6) Cleve Woodfork - Tenn-Martin

Why? It takes more than a wood fork to cleave meat.

 

5) Dexter Shankle - UTPA

Why? This name just makes me giggle for some reason.

 

4) Austen Powers - CS Northridge

Why? If you don't know, I guess you don't like movies.

 

3) Willie Dingle - Rider

Why? It's not proper to show your Willie Dingle in public.

 

2) Chris Porn - Elon

Why? Because this guy knows how to use his Willie Dingle.

 

1) Chief Kickingstallionsims - Stetson

Why?  I figured it would mean "Likes to Kick Stallions." But apparently it means "Strength of Fallen Rocks."

 

Thanks to your suggestions, I've put together Best Names: Part Two which includes 30 more great names not included on my list, including Idong Ibok, Chudi Chinweze, and Gyno Pomare.  Also, you can learn Chief Kickingstallionsims real first name, which is no less interesting.

 

 

 

 

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