40) Marco Killingsworth –
Indiana
Why? Ideal name for paid assassin.
39) Thanasi Panagiotakopoulos -
Northern Colorado
Why? Has
as many letters in last name as fg’s made this season (17).
38) Jazz Henderson
- Long Beach State
Why? I wish my first name was Jazz.
37) Gyno Pomare - San Diego
Why? Luckily pronounced gee-no,
otherwise first name would just be dirty.
36) Magnum Rolle – LSU
Why? Sounds like he was named after a
condom.
35) Dazzmon Thornton – Texas Tech
Why? Dazz one up’s Jazz Henderson’s
first name.
34) Jihad Muhammad – Cincinnati
Why? I hope he gets to the airport with
plenty of time to spare.
33) Chudi Chinweze – TCU
Why? It's easy being Chinweze.
32) Idong Ibok - Michigan State
Why? He dongs and boks but can he
shoot?
31) Slim Millien - Idaho State
Why? Would be higher if it was his
given name instead of Antoine.
30) Brad Nuckles
- ETSU
Why? "Bloody"
nickname makes for good headlines.
28) QuoVadis
Harper - Chicago State
Why? First name gets
huge points in Scrabble.
27) Can Civi -
Davidson
Why? Apparently
pronounced "John Chee-vee." If you say so.
26) Bubba Long
- Eastern Kentucky
Why? Nothing says
Eastern Kentucky like the name Bubba.
25) Supo Jegede
- New Mexico State
Why? No Supo for you!
24)
Obie Trotter - Alabama A&M
Why? Has a position
with the Globies locked up after graduation.
23) Luc Richard
Mbah a Moute - UCLA
Why? My Mbah is
better than your a Moute.
22) Leemire
Goldwire - Charlotte
Why? It rhymes!
Weeeee!
21) Arizona AZ
Reid - High Point
Why? Best of the
geographic names.
20) Stanley Asumnu
- Tennessee
Why? If you assume,
you make an as out of u and mnu.
19) Uwemedimo
Eshietedoho - UMBC
Why? By my count,
that's 11 syllables.
18) Paulius
Packevicius - Rice
Why? Try Saying that
name three times fast.
17) B-Jay Walker
- Oakland
Why? I'd be twice as
cool with a dash in my first name.
16) Kibwe Trim
- Sacred Heart
Why? Forget
Slim-Fast, Kibwe Trim could be America's next hot diet.
15) VJ Fails -
Charleston Southern
Why? Unfortunately VJ
Fails often from the FT line (3-16 for career!)
14) Teaco Mickles
- Alabama A&M
Why? If I wonder if
Teaco laughs when you mickle him.
13) Pops
Mensah-Bonsu - GW
Why? Even his parents
gave up on calling him Nana Papa Yaw.
12) Parfait Bitee
- Rhode Island
Why? I know a great
recipe for Parfait Bitee.
11) Pooh Jeter
- Portland
Why? Pooh's been an
All-Name player for the last four seasons.
10) Preston
LeMaster - Kentucky
Why? I am the
LeMaster of my own domain!
9) Dipo Popoola
- Northeastern
Why? Would be twice
as funny if his name was Poopola.
8) Fats Cuyler
- MSTU
Why? I used to bowl
with a guy named Fats. He was fat.
7) Longar Longar – Oklahoma
Why? Makes Akin
Akingbala’s parents look original.
6) Cleve Woodfork
- Tenn-Martin
Why? It takes more
than a wood fork to cleave meat.
5) Dexter Shankle
- UTPA
Why? This name just
makes me giggle for some reason.
4) Austen Powers
- CS Northridge
Why? If you don't
know, I guess you don't like movies.
3) Willie Dingle
- Rider
Why? It's not proper
to show your Willie Dingle in public.
2) Chris Porn
- Elon
Why? Because this guy
knows how to use his Willie Dingle.
1) Chief
Kickingstallionsims - Stetson
Why? First name is
Grlenntys, which only adds to this name's unintended genius.
