January 24th

Joel’s Monday Mailbag

Each Monday, Joel Welser will be bringing you his Monday Mailbag.  If you have a question which you'd like Joel to answer, email jwelser_chn@ameritech.net.  He’ll post and answer as many questions as possible.  Please include your first name and home state when contacting Joel. 

One question each week is chosen as the "Question of the Week", and is answered by a few CHN staffers.  At the end of each Monday Mailbag, Joel presents his "Team of the Week" and his "Thoughts of the Week."  Visit the Mailbag Archive for past installments.

Question of the Week

 - The question of the week is answered by multiple CHN staffers -

Joel,

Who are your favorite and least favorite college basketball announcers?

From Terrance,

Washington

Adam Stanco

My favorite college basketball announcer is ESPN’s play-by-play specialist Mike Patrick. His passionate for the game explodes through his broadcasts without ever seeming to favor one team over another. He really seems to enjoy the game and always provides information without disrupting the flow of the game. Whenever Patrick has the reins, watching the game is equally enjoyable for casual fans and knowledgeable hoop-heads with a vested interest.

Hop on a blistered foot. Brand myself. Watch Ashlee Simpson sing opera. Brand myself while hopping on a blistered foot and watching Ashlee Simpson sing opera. These are just some of the tortures I would rather put myself through before listening to Jay Bilas call a college basketball game. Bilas played for Duke, spent time as a Duke assistant, and dabbled as an attorney. As an added bonus, he also played the role of the good alien in the 1990 film “I Come In Peace.” Since he played and coached under Coach K, there is no question Bilas has some knowledge of the game. However, “some knowledge” easily sums up the full extent of what Bilas brings to a telecast. Every line he sputters is laced with narcissism and ill will – unless, of course, he is French kissing Krzyzewski’s rear. Bilas blissfully bashes players for bad decision making and a lack of fundamentals, yet he himself was a career 65% free throw shooter who never averaged more than 0.6 assists per game (and three times as many turnovers). Bilas’ poorly timed interjections and bland voice are easy reasons for the average viewer to dislike his style, but for me his hypocritical pomposity makes each broadcasts sound like fifty fingernails scraping the blackboard.

Shawn Siegel

My least favorite is none other than the legend himself, Dick Vitale.  I simply can't watch games that he's announcing without turning off the volume.  I could go on about why I don't like him, but the simple answer is that it's the same reason I don't like the smell of tuna fish.  Its just rotten.

My favorite is Bill Raftery.  I enjoy his college work, and have enjoyed his work as the color man for the New Jersey Nets.  He was paired with his old Nets play-by-play man Ian Eagle in this past weekend's Kentucky-Arkansas matchup.  I have a preference more for the guys who are entertaining like Raftery and Walton, but who have more to say than compliments like Vitale.

Joel Welser

I’m still a fan of Bill Raftery.  For some reason his “nickel and dimer,” “send it in” and “man to man” have not become annoying to me like so many other announcer catch phrases.  When I’m around, everybody better be quiet at the beginning of a Raftery game so I can hear, and mimic, “They’re coming out man to man.”  I have seen Mike Adamle, yes that Mike Adamle, doing Penn State games recently.  I haven’t seen him since season two of American Gladiators, so I always get a kick out of that.  I keep thinking Nitro is going to run out and hit somebody over the head with a giant Q-tip.

Bill Walton did a tourney game a few years back.  I could have lived without that.  ESPN crowd volume is usually so high and the announcer volume so low, that I don’t even have to listen to those guys.

Have a question?  Email Joel at jwelser_chn@ameritech.net, and please include your first name and home state. We’ll post and answer as many as possible.  All questions may be published or edited unless requested otherwise.

Joel’s Team of the Week

UMKC Kangaroos

That’s the University of Missouri at Kansas City Kangaroos.  The Roos caught my attention a few weeks ago when they won at Valparaiso to go 3-0 in the Mid-Con, but I figured it was just a little winning streak.  After knocking off conference favorite Oral Roberts, at the Mabee Center nonetheless, UMKC has now gone to 8-0 in conference play.  The Kangaroos have won their last ten in a row, after losing their opening seven games.  They have already won at IUPUI and Valpo, but it was the victory at Oral Roberts that makes this team for real.  Brandon Temple led the way with a game high 25 points in UMKC’s 88-74 victory.  Carlton Aaron added 19 points and eight rebounds

Joel’s Thoughts of the Week

I’m too sick to have a single cohesive thought for an entire section, as you probably have noticed if you’ve made it this far.  Thus, I’m going to sort of go with the style of the Daily Dribble…that’s Shawn’s daily word on the front page, not what I wipe off my pillow every morning, well afternoon.

I don’t care what anybody says, I like watching Washington State.  Not only do I watch them constantly, but I make special efforts not to miss the Cougars.  Others may have missed WSU handing it to Arizona on Saturday at the McHale Center after 38 straight defeats at the hands of the Wildcats.

I like to memorize college basketball rosters because I’m bored, boring and like to keep the mind sharp.  So, you say Nicholls State #1, and I say sophomore guard Stefan Blaszczynksi and so on.  I usually do one team a week but lately have been stumped on who to learn next.  I currently know 127 teams, so we’re getting down to the nitty gritty.  I base them on this year’s at-large potential, future team promise and finally, this year’s NCAA Tourney potential.  Don’t ask me why I know Nicholls State based on that criteria.  I’d like to take an informal poll on which team I should learn next.  My choices this week are San Francisco, Wisconsin-Milwaukee, Vermont and Old Dominion.  Send me an email and let me know.

Does anybody believe in St. Joe’s yet?  Sure they probably won’t get an at-large bid, but there were other players on that team last year besides Nelson and West and they are finally figuring out their new roles.

Ever since Western Michigan’s home winning streak ended, the biggest news story is about a spinning wheel used by the students to distract opposing free throw shooters.  It must be a slow news cycle.  And for you Bronco fans…the Laku Crew, both of them, should be wearing silver (the guys name is Silver Laku.)  I recommend completely wrapping yourself in aluminum foil.  I’ll keep an eye out for that and maybe even join the Laku Crew myself as long as the aluminum foil is provided. 

Did you know it was possible to have a four point play before the three point line existed?  Unfortunately the rule doesn’t exist anymore, so we can’t see somebody get a four point play the old fashion way. 

Have a question?  Email Joel at jwelser_chn@ameritech.net, and please include your first name and home state. We’ll post and answer as many as possible.  All questions may be published or edited unless requested otherwise.