Best Names in College Basketball

January 7th, 2007

It's that time of year.. CHN's Annual Top 30 Names in College Basketball. Unfortunately, due to graduation, we lose legendary names like Chudi Chinweze and Chief Kickingstallionsims. But stalwarts like Gyno Pomare return and freshmen and Juco transfers provide a whole batch of new favorites.

Some of the names are funny, others interesting, others just unusual.. more importantly, they're just the best names college basketball has to offer. Thanks to CHN writers, including Jon Teitel, Jason Brubaker, and others for putting the list together.

College Basketball's Best Names of 2006-07

30) Randal Falker - SIU
Why? Can't wait until the sequel to Meet the Falkers

29) VJ Fails - Charleston Southern
Why? A year later, VJ still Fails to hit free throws (52%).

28) Mark Currie - Iowa St
Why? Who didn't love "Hanging with Mr. Cooper?"

27) Reid Augst - UNCA
Why? Augst is my second favorite month behind Octobr

26) Radar Onguetou - UNH
Why? Unfortunately, Radar wasn't on the radar of the BCS schools..

25) Chidozie Chukwumah - Chicago St
Why? Wonder if he knows last year's All-Namer Chudi Chinweze?

24) Bam Doyne - Ole Miss
Why? Apparently Bam's parents are big fans of Emeril Lagasse.

23) Jack Leasure - Coastal Carolina
Why? Leasure Suit Jack can actually play some ball (15 ppg).

22) Arizona 'AZ' Reid - High Point
Why? Would be a lot cooler if his name was District of Columbia Reid.

21) Courtney Captain - East Carolina
Why? Unfortunately, he's a Court Captain in name only..

20) Art Valentine - UMES
Why? All the ladies love Art on Valentines Day.

19) Eb Noonoo - UIC
Why? Yess Yess, this name had to go on the list.

18) Dipo Popoola - Northeastern
Why? I get all my useless popoola at Home Dipo.

17) Dexter Shankle - UTPA
Why? Allen Iverson's broken more than a few shankles in his day.

16) Xabi Zusperreguy - Centenary
Why? Is zuzperreguy the plural of zuzperregus?

15) Gerald Fonzie - SFA
Why? Sunday, Monday, Happy Days. Tuesday, Wednesday, Happy Days..

14) Jahsha Bluntt - Delaware St
Why? Lets hope Jahsha doesn't smoke Bluntts before games..

13) Soloman HorseChief - Pacific
Why? Memories of last year's best name: Chief Kickingstallionsims.

12) Fabio Nass - Miami
Why? Thankfully, this Fabio keeps his shirt on while he plays..

11) Ugo Ihekweazu - Cornell
Why? Ugo, I go, we all go to Togo!

10) Thanasi Panagiotakopoulos - Northern Colorado
Why? Parents tried to break Guinness Record for getting entire alphabet into one name.

9) Dominitrix Johnson - Illinois St
Why? I'll bet Dominitrix has a thing for black leather..

8 & 7) Thomas Fang - Cal, Ernest Maul - FAMU
Why? Ernest could Maul somebody with his Thomas Fang..

6) Parfait Bitee (pronounced bee-tay) - Rhode Island
Why? Hooray, Bitee is the Parfait of the Day!

5) Fendi Onobun - Arizona
Why? Would you like your sandwich on o bun or on o plate?

4) Longar Longar - Oklahoma
Why? I can almost reach you, just a little bit Longar!

3) Gyno Pomare - San Diego
Why? Gyn-o-mite!!

2) Urule Igbavboa - Valpo
Why? No man, thats too kind, I don't rule, urule!

1) Idong Ibok - Michigan St
Why? Apparently Idong Ibok is bit more selfish than Urule..

The Almost Best Names

Some of these are just as good, but either don't lend themselves to quips.. or were on last year's list and still have next year to get back on.

The All-Galaxy Team: John Moonshower - Army, Kyle Neptune - Lehigh. The All-Couch Potato Team: Chip Polite - North Florida, Ruell Pringle - Campbell. The All-Moses Team: Moses Edun - Alabama St, Thijin Moses - DePaul.

More: Angel Alamo - Sac State, Tambo Barrow - Hartford, Deki Delic - Monmouth, Da'Veed Dildy - Stanford, Cem Dinc - Indiana, Dodie Dunson - Iowa St, Chike Ekweozor - Southern, Samba Fall - Gardner Webb, Leemire Goldwire - Charlotte, Trajinski Grigsby - So Alabama, Ivory McGilvery - Praire View A&M, Chance McGrady - Memphis, Kandi Mukole - Howard, Wen Mukubu - UAB, Brad Nuckles - ETSU, Chamberlain Oguchi - Oregon, Dusty Pflugner - VMI, Magnum Rolle - LSU, Amu Saaka - USF, Sonny Weems - Arkansas

There's over 3,000 names in D1 basketball.. so there's always a chance we missed a great name. If you know of one we left off, email me at