In case you haven’t heard, it’s “rivalry week.” And I’m being told the biggest game of the year, no matter what year, is Duke vs. UNC. So rather than analyze parts of the game, we must comment on every aspect and every moment in order to give these important men their proper credit… or something like that. Anyway, here’s my gamelog. If you want to read a very good preview of the game to accompany your gamelog, try this one.
20:00 - Lovely little gimmick of Duke and UNC fans on the couch together in the pregame. These people are way too timid. Suneel and Bobby are the worst. It’s like Harold and Kumar Go To Tobacco Road. Put two drunks that only got in to Duke and UNC because their parents work there and see how they act. That couch would be ruined.
Vitale and Patrick. My favorites. Why does Vitale insist on grasping his announcing partner’s arm like that all the time? When Mike Patrick gets home at night and sees his wife, what must she think? He probably has cuts all over his arm like he got into a bar fight or was hanging out with some girls Marv Albert introduced him to. He spends an evening with a 65-year-old bald man and before he knows it he’s telling his wife to put the suitcase away.
Alright tip-off. Let’s go.
19:13 - Paulus hits a three with a guy in his face. I really hope it’s not one of those nights. If he leads Duke to victory it’ll be like if Sammy Sosa hits 50 home runs this year.
16:55 - Paulus jumper, Scheyer and Henderson threes, Zoubek block, Scheyer steal and lay-up. 15-6 Duke. Patrick is channeling Gus Johnson. This could get unbearable. Someone on Duke might two-hand smack a hole through the floor at this point.
15:57 - “Does it get any better than this?” dropped for the first time. I’m still waiting on “Can you believe we get paid for this, baby?” and “OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.”
14:32 - If her name isn’t Dales or Andrews, she should not be courtside.
13:13 - Why is McRoberts not a 20-point scorer Vitale asks. Oh, it’s because he’s so unselfish Patrick affirms. It has absolutely nothing to do with the fact he wasn’t allowed to start because he refused to play in the post. I love how these two can make star players flaws into disgusting compliments.
10:50 - Brandan Wright blocks a dunk and dunks on the other end. He should dominate today. You know, because he’s one of those 6-10 guys that willingly plays in the post.
9:39 - Down to 24-21 Duke. This makes more sense.
Henderson and Ellington are spotlighted and Patrick asks if there’s anything more fun that beating a best friend at something. You mean like beating your best friend in obnoxiousness over a two-hour time period?
6:40 - When you have a widely used hand signal for a back-up center, you have problems.
5:49 - Kentucky-Florida Saturday night. That might be a better played game than this.
5:14 - Hansbrough gets blocked by McClure. You can’t be a first-round pick if you get blocked by David McClure, it’s in the collective bargaining agreement.
3:45 - And the first Scheyer-Redick comparison is made. The final domino will fall in about 4 years.
0:44 - In a ten-second span Vitale hits on Doris Burke, says he’s going to see Elton John and wants to make his wife happy. I think it’s time to retire buddy.
In all seriousness though, I read John Feinstein’s Last Dance and I do realize the impact Dickie V has had on the game. Is he the most obnoxious announcer out there? Yes. Is he one of the most important people to college basketball of the past 25 years? Yes.
Halftime- UNC plays a pretty terrible half but is down only five. We’ll see if this holds up. At least the ESPN insanity has lived up to the hype so far.
19:35 - So there must’ve been a time when Mike Patrick was on the bottom of the announcing totem pole and had to announce women’s collegiate volleyball, right? I would really love to hear that.
“She REALLY spiked that hard. Are you kidding me?! I mean you are not going to SEE a better bump-set combo than that. Patty O’Reilly! JUST UNREAL.”
17:42 - Seriosuly, look at the double-up on Hansbrough. He means it.
14:07 - Earmuffs, McRoberts just committed another foul.
13:07 - Hansbrough for Least Improved Player?
12:24 - 50-45 Duke by the way. I forgot there was a score, I was still looking for the double-up on Hansbrough.
12:04 - I’ll tell you why people hate Duke. Just compare the way Hansbrough acts compared to McRoberts. They have about the same ability and yet one is far less modest.
11:48 - McRoberts fourth foul with UNC only down five. Should be trouble for the Dukies.
Also, that Stackhouse dunk was dirty, but I’m sure I appreciated it way more than Suneel and Bobby.
10:36 - You cannot contain Wes Miller. And you won’t contain Wes Miller.
10:09 - A couple of shots at each bench. A screaming Roy Williams looks like Howard Dean from a few years ago. A sobbing Josh McRoberts looks like Dick Vermeil from a few years ago.
8:54 - Coach K puts McRoberts back in with four fouls. If he doesn’t foul out Ralph Nader might sue Duke for getting beneficial treatment from the refs this season. Or UNC fans will toilet paper Cameron Indoor, one or the other.
7:45 - Scheyer hits another big shot, 57-54 Duke. Maryland fans start writing your obscene chants. Hopefully he writes poetry.
7:22 - Scheyer fouled on a three, Wayne Ellington is left laughing. I’m not sure if UNC fans should be pissed that this kid is around or not. On one hand, they have basically another Redick clone to torment them for four years. But on the other hand, they have a skinny white guy to channel all of their frothing anger towards. Really an interesting relationship.
6:19 - With McRoberts relegated to a cardboard cut-out, Wright nails a hook, Henderson hits a tough one and Lawson comes back and does the same. 60-60. Do we really need seniors at this point?
4:17 - 64-61 UNC. Nelson fouls Hansbrough and there’s no call. Patrick calls it a “great play” and has a minor seizure. Wonderful.
3:15 - If UNC loses it’ll be because of Roy Williams again. Duke has one big guy and he has four fouls and UNC has Wright and Hansbrough. Heels fans are blaming Roy for the NC State loss so he better not blow this one.
2:07 - 67-63 UNC. Brandan Wright is not like Sam Perkins. If he grows dreads, starts shooting threes and gains 50 pounds he’ll be like Sam Perkins.
Dickie V is seriously hitting on Doris Roberts. I’ll never sleep tonight.
1:46 - Lawson murders everyone’s ankles for a three-point play and UNC is up 70-63 and pulling away. It’s about time.
1:17 - Scheyer bucket and foul, in the post nonetheless. This is going to get ugly soon for this kid. You don’t drop 26 (and counting) on UNC on national TV and avoid gay slurs from drunken Terp fans. You just don’t.
0:50 - Ty Lawson is quite nasty.
0:30 - Scheyer fouls out. UNC fans can now exhale. 74-68 UNC.
0:12 - Paulus swatted by Hansbrough leaving him looking a lot like Eli Manning after an interception. Maybe he should’ve played football after all.
Also, I think it’s really funny how surprised everyone on ESPN is that this Duke team is struggling in the ACC. Just because they are Duke doesn’t mean they have to compete for the title every year. This is clearly a very flawed team. And yet people will still make excuses for them and pick them to do something in the NCAAs and it won’t happen and they’ll find another bandwagon. Can CHN start its own network? Seriously?
0:00 - 79-73 UNC. The only surprise is that they were down 10 in the second half. Duke might have had a chance if they hit a foul shot, but their complete lack of size and toughness did them in again. The next one shouldn’t be that close. The only important thing to take from the game is that Jon Scheyer will now be terrorized by Maryland fans Saturday and that should be a lot of fun.